How do I put into words what is a part of me,
             my flesh and blood, 
                               what is too close and too precious
                       to share,
                                 for fear of missing some part 
             or  being inadequate in the telling.

How do I put on this paper
                    a piece of my heart ….

               do I reach inside
                      and tear it out 
                                   and hold it up in front of my eyes
                                    examine it   and
                                           write about it ??????

How do I express the deep joy
                             the unconditional love
                              the great pride I have for you……
          and capture it in printed words …..

Perhaps      you do not understand  that 
           you are not someone else apart from me…….
                you are mine
               you are the most important part of me   my world 
                         every day of my life

       I don’t need to pen myself to paper
                and read about it later,

                    we exist together.

And so,
         when you ask me why 
                  I have not written a poem for you,
                            or your brothers,
          I am sad  because I realize I have been amiss
     to not have told you     why ….

so here is your poem
         but it is not finished or complete
                  because the most special secrets of the heart
                            remain a secret
           too difficult to express
                    in one solitary poem for you today.